Comments: This is really true. Don't focus on marriage. You must not idolize it. I see brothers and sisters who are very unhappy because of trouble in their marriage. Okay, it may seem to be the ultimate thing to marry, but can you see what happens behind the doors of the married couples? If you focus on the truth, if you invite your brothers and sisters at your home, or visit them at there home, you won't feel lonely. But open yourself for them. Maybe you can talk with some of them about your problem of SSA and you'll be amazed how helpful and understanding they will react. Don't lock yourself up as if you are coming from an another planet. If you are a friend for them, they will be a friend for you. So, Lee, try it, and really: I know it is not easy, but it will be worth it. greetings from your brother M.
Comments: Hey Lee, I completely agree with your feeling and conclusion. Remember what the prophet says in Lam 3:22-24 : "it is the acts of loving kindness of Jehovah that we have not come to our finish, because his mercies will certainly not come to an end. They are new each morning (...) that is why I shall show a waiting attitude for him". It does sometimes seem too hard to endure. This is how we learn patience and trust in Jehovah, that He will provide for our real needs now and even more so in the future. We are in the best situation to be taught and grow in patience, endurance, confidence, self denial and true unselfish love... and we know these qualities can only bring us happiness in the long run. Be brave, you can do it.
Comments: Aww c'mon Lee. Worse things happen at sea than being single! Remember that at Matthew 19, Jesus calls being single a GIFT for which he recommends making room. There are surely far worse situations a person could be in. Imagine having married hastily and unwisely and being stuck in the double loneliness of marriage to someone you don't really feel warm and affectionate towards. Or think of suffering a chronic debilitating health condition. Single persons might have times of some loneliness, yes, but if they show loving attention to friends, they will get it back with interest.
Comments: It must be Jehovah that helps us through each day. How else would any of us cope with such a dreadful affliction? To go through life not being able to hold and love someone you love. To arrive home from work with no one to love. To see others in love with Jehovah's blessing and the wonderful gift of marriage and children. How wonderful it must be to be in love with all Jehovah's blessing. What a wonderful gift I long so much to have...how I wish one day Jehovah will let me have that same gift of love. Yes, it is Jehovah that helps and loves me, for there is nothing in this world without love.
Comments: Hello everyone: Its been more than a few years since I have posted but I thought I would give a shout out and let everyone know I am still kickin. The new Wt article: "Coping with Grief" has an ending box with quotation from 2 Corinthians 1:3. The comment states that God can help his faithful servants to endure any problem or challenge that they may face. Its comforting to know that as we continue on as faithful servants Jehovah hears our prayers and will help us endure. Love to all Vigoureaux
Comments: Hi, Didnt know something like this even existed! Hoping to kinda get some help i guess... Hope to talk to you soon! Bj
Comments: hi everybody i can't believe that something like this exists! Anyway i'm quite happy that i can finally relate and talk to someone who is in the same situation as i am.
Comments: Brother from the UK. Good to be able to talk to others about this 'problem'. Hope I make some good friends here. M.
Comments: Bonjour David, et bienvenue ! cela paraît surprenant en effet de constater pour la première fois que d'autres connaissent exactement le même problème, c'est aussi rassurant n'est-ce pas, on se sent redevenir "normal", en mesure enfin de communiquer avec quelqu'un qui peut comprendre. Certes c'est ce que la Bible dit de Jésus (qu'il peut compatir à nos faiblesses, Héb 4:15), mais cette situation reste si particulière que ce n'est pas facile de se sentir accepté et tenu pour innocent. En tous cas c'est bien l'intention de ce site d'offrir un soutien moral et affectif sans culpabiliser ni sacrifier pour autant la spiritualité et la fidélité à nos principes chrétiens. A bientôt
Comments: Bonjour! Je viens d'arriver sur ce site, et j'ai été fort surpris de voir que beaucoup comme moi cherchent du soutien dans notre situation particulière, et encore plus surpris d'avoir découvert ce site. Merci beaucoup du temps que vous nous consacré. David
Comments: Greetings All: I am encouraged in finding this site: First and foremost, that there are others like myself, who, in some manner or another, are a part of Jehovah's organization, and are in the same boat (as it were) with our attraction to the same sex. Secondly, that there is a source from which to gather confidential encouragement and support. John's communiqué (posted on site) hit the matter dead on. I look forward to participating. JM
Comments: hi everyone, ive been a while from this site, came back the other day and was so encouraged by how wholesome and supportive it still is!keep up the fight all my bros and sis! drew
Comments: I'm so glad i came across this site to know there are others like me, i look forward to talking to you when i get the password.
Comments: Hello everyone! Glad to read some new posts that is encouraging. We are not alone, we have Jehovah, the congregation, and each other. So when difficult times arise and they will, carefully reflect upon the situation in prayer, try to read something that is up building and please come to the site and post. We are here for each other, through prayer, support and friendship.
Comments: Hello all. I'm happy to have found this site. I look forward to reading the experiences of others and to partaking in the interchange of encouragement. Lately, I have felt so isolated; as if there's no one around who could possibly relate to how I feel. It's nice to know there are others out there fighting the same battle, maybe even in my own area. I hope to get to know many of you throughout the upcoming days and months. Talk to ya soon.
Comments: Hello. This is quite hard to believe.
Comments: Thank you Phil for your kind and comforting remarks. How wonderful it would be if all the other Witnesses and Elders were like you. May be some are and we just don't know it! Lee
Comments: Welcome to Lee and to others who have signed this Guestbook recently. It's encouraging to know that this site has proven beneficial. It is indeed helpful to be able to discuss such issues with a reliable and understanding friend. Awake! of February 2007 pointed out the value of having a trustworthy confidant with whom to talk things over. It is good not to develop too much of a "funnel" viewpoint of this difficulty, even though as Awake! some years ago acknowledged, it can at times seem "agonisingly difficult". Brother Ron Drage of the Britain Branch used to give a fine talk entitled "Count Your Blessings - And Make Your Blessings Count". It helps to remember that Christians, like anyone else, cope with a wide variety of sometimes very difficult circumstances. Persons may have terrible, chronic, debilitating health conditions or other adversities to cope with. So while maintaining a celibate state and coping with desire for one's own sex may at times be very troubling, focussing on the positive is surely important. If we have health and strength, and relative economic security, for example, those are things for which to be grateful, and to be used to best advantage.
Comments: Thank you for this site and thank you John for telling your story . Somehow it makes me feel a little better inside. I wish I could meet someone in the same way John has met someone. It must be a great relief to be able to just talk to someone who understands this awful torment that never goes away. I honestly believe sometimes it would have been better not to have been born at all. Some of the talks at the Kingdom Hall make me feel hurt inside; and yet it is God that created me, I didn't ask for this...who would?? All that said, I still love Jehovah very much and know that he loves me and doesn't want me to be hurt. Thanks for this site Lee
Comments: I struggle with feelings for the same sex. Its comforting to know there are others out there that have the same feelings that I have.
Comments: Hola Cesar, Bienvenido en el sitio ! No he entendido si tratas de la literatura de la sociedad o de este sitio ? Puedes leer los comentarios en inglés ? Espero que lo hagas y que te sientas animado leyendo los esfuerzos de los hermanos de aqui para mantenerse fiel a la verdad y a Jehova. Como este dia de conmemoracion nos lo vuelve a recordar, cada uno tiene valor para Jehova, no debemos olvidar que nuestros esfuerzos seran recompensados, y compensados mas aun de los que pensamos, en el futuro.
Comments: Hola, hace poco conocí el sitio, la verdad mi inglés no es el mejor, consulté la información de la literatura y creo que ya la he leido toda, soy de Colombia y soy publicador en mi congregación, tengo 35 años y soy testigo desde los 20 años. Un abrazo a todos. Hello, a little while ago I knew the place, the truth my English is not the best, I looked up the information of literature and I believe that I right now have well-read all, I come from Colombia and I am publisher in my congregation, I have 35 years old and I am a witness from the 20 years. A hug to everyone. (Sorry for my english)
Comments: Hola! Finalmente algunos hispano hablantes se estan uniendo al foro. Ya me estaba sintiendo solo LOL. Bienvenidos, y ojala encuentren el refrigerio que todos hemos encontrado aqui. Regards, Patricio
Comments: José, bienvenido ! mantenerse en la fe para 21 anos ya, en tal estado de lucha permanente, realmente puede describirse como una victoria. Eso me hace pensar en esas palabras : "el pueblo (de dios), unido, jamas sera vencido !" (una cancion antigua de los revolucionarios en un pais de sudamerica, que habia aprendido en mi clase de espanol, hace mucho tiempo...) QUe te mantegas con nosotros en este camino mas estrecho que el camino estrecho... hasta luego ojala
Comments: Hola a todos Mi nombre es josé soy tj bautizado desde hace 21 años, y he logrado mantenerme en la cong. por todos estos años, pero no sin pasar epocas grises y algunas definitivamente negras. Pues al igual que todos tengo una lucha contra mi carne caida, que en mi caso incluye la homosexualidad, me gusta poder encontrarlos ojala pueda hacer amigos. Actualmente sirvo de Siervo, trabajo para el estado en promoción cultural, presto asesorías a nivel privado, soy docente universitario y adicionalmente estoy casado. Un abrazo a todos Hi to all Mi name is José i´m JW since 1986, equal all brothers I´ve big flight with my body, because i´m gay. Now I´m ministerial servant, work and culture with goverment, also university theacher, and also married. I would like to be your friend Sorry my english
Comments: Greetings from the Mile High City-(Denver, CO) I'm so Glad to have found a site like this! I look forward to connecting and sharing spiritual encouragement with other brothers and sisters living with this day to day struggle. Im a 22 year old male and I'd like to think that I'm more on the Bi end of things. There has been days where I feel so Dirty and Worthless about myself for having these thoughts, but I quickly remember that Jehovah knows what I'm going through and he sees whats in my heart and He knows that I'm on his side. I look forward to connecting with you all and maybe meet all of you in person.... Regards, D
Comments: Thanks a lot Mike! As I said before, it's good to find JW's that suffer from this thorn in flesh. Take care P
Comments: Hello P! And welcome!! You will certainly find this site to be a source of great encouragement to you. Its fantastic to find other Brothers and Sisters who struggle with the same things as us, and still want to loyally serve Jehovah. I look forward to hearing your comments, and enjoying the interchange of encouragement! Your Brother, Mike
Comments: Hello! I'm 21 years old and I live in Argentina. I've just found this website thanks to a brother from another country. It's refreshing to know that I'm not alone in this world. I've read some of the posts, and many brothers and sisters experience the same situations I experience. I hope I can start a friendship with some of you. Being in our conditions is always tough, a constant fight that usually pulls us to hide who we are and alienate from other brothers and sisters. Being in Latin America is even harder. The brothers and sisters usually assimilate and adopt the idiosyncracy of the place. Latin america is quite closed-minded about accepting different people, and regretfully some brother and sisters are too. so I hope I can find some friends in here, especially to be a support and recevie support. Thank you Patricio
Comments: Looking forward to seeing some of the thoughts on this matter and sharing mind also. Thank you, Anthony
Comments: Greetings and Salutations from Wisconsin, USA!!! It's been awhile since needing to check this site... but here i am. Hope all are well and getting the needed encouragement. Anyone for a cup of Tea? hehehe ~ D
Comments: Bonjour Maurice, et bienvenue sur le site ! Dans notre situation, les encouragements sont nécessaires, et dans toutes les langues... J'espère que tu les trouveras ici, à la hauteur de tes attentes. Au début, c'est une surprise de trouver un site tel que celui-ci, mais on s'y habitue très vite et cela devient un besoin de vérifier que d'autres frères et soeurs continuent à relever le défi. Il y en a un certain nombre, tous méritent bien un soutien et des encouragements renouvelés. A bientôt
Comments: Hi, I'm maurice. I live in the US. I'm looking for people to associate with who share our problem. I'm glad i found this group! It is amazing that a group like this exists! Je vois qu'il y a les gens qui parle francais. Je le parle un peu. je l'aime parler mais il n'a pas plus gens qui le parle ou j'habite. Heureusement, vous etes Temoin de Jehovah aussi. Il y avait longtime que je le parle. I'm in my late 20s looking for friends and encouragement. I'm doing well. I hope to be able to join your group. Thanks!
Comments: Hello all, Looking forward to getting to know some of you Brothers and sisters. I was suprised to find anything like this site. I guess you always know there must be others out there in the same situation, but never thought I'd ever get to talk to some! I've been brought up in the truth and the truth is my life. There is no one like our gracious God Jehovah, and I know He's always been there for me, but its always nice to talk ones in the truth who can appreciate just how difficult life can be in the wicked system! I'm really impressed by some of the comments, and how possitive everyone is about remaining loyal to Jehovah. We all need help at times and I look forward to being friends with all of you. Take care, Mike
Comments: Good site. It seems it is needed.
Comments: This is an interesting site that I am glad I stumbled across. I am a brother from the Southern part of the United States and I look forward to meeting other friends as well that might be struggling with their sexuality and yet trying to matain their Christian identiey as well.
Comments: Glad that the forum is back. Hope things are doing well with you Phil and the rest of the brothers and sisters. Regards.
Comments: I really cant believe that a site like this exists! It is so cool!!! ![]() Im a young brother from the uk, and am looking forward to hearing from you all once I get a password for the forum! Take care all !
Comments: Dear Phil, Thank you sooooooo much for this site. You have probably heard this thousands of times, but i was so glad to hear about this website. I got it from a brother whom i just started to talk to, because i saw his message on another site, but that site is mostly negative. Still i was very happy to "meet" him there, 'cause he's spiritual. I can share a lot of my feelings with him, it's like looking into a mirror. Yesterday i cried my eyes out talking to him and also when i read a lot of encouraging messages on this website. It feels like a bird who was in a small cage and now he can fly in a fenced zoo, so that's progress, right? Thanks again a thousand times. You're little brother....R.
Comments: Hello Phil, Thank you so much for this site. It is so hard to fight with this problem. I have been a witness for more than 20 years and I 'm still fighting against homosexual desire. I really believe that it's the worse thing to endure. Always alone, always avoiding friendship. And in the same time feeling genuine friendship for some fellow christians. With the time I have come to understand that Jehovah accept me as I am, because I am struggling to overcome this problem. But loneliness is like a strong punishment. Once again, thanks. JB
Comments: Hi Folks, Discovered this site very recently. I am married, with a son and currently serve as an elder in the UK. I'm looking forward to discuss with my dear brothers and sisters, the internal struggle we all have and the unique issues we face in the truth. Its so refreshing to find a site that ants to help and encourage loyalty to Jehovah and his spirit directed organization. I was particularly comforted to read Johns' story on the main home page. I'm not alone. Speak soon as soon as I get the password. D.
Comments: Hi Sean ! welcome to this guestbook and forum. Yes it is difficult but nonetheless manageable, as long as we manage to keep in mind and heart the reason why we accept to endure this situation. I had the N° 4 talk on "patience" this week. It underlined how many years of patience faithful servants of Jehovah like Moses, Abraham, Noah, Joseph, etc... had to exercise. There is a reward in the end, the more the trial the better the reward. But above all, there is someone above us who deserves the sacrifice, if only we want to accept it all along, until he says that's enough. My prayers are for all of us, that we may remain strong and confident in His justice and overseeing presence. Please come back soon and let us know how you deal with that. agape to everyone
Comments: Hi, Well when I found this site...I had a mixture of happiness and anger. I was happy to find that FINALLY there is some support for witnesses who have a same sex attraction. I was angry because so many of us needed it for so long...yet we all stayed silent and played the 'straight' game,as there was no alternative. Being a gay JW is tough...real tough.I have told all my family and most of my friends that I am gay. I am not ashamed to do so.As we all know,we did not choose this.Being a JW is tough enough without throwing being gay into the mix!What mad person would choose that! I feel sad when I read the stories of not being understood and feeling lonely in the cong. I totally hear everyone of your voices. I do feel as well that we do get particularly 'gay-bashed' at the meetings and I myself have been accused of advocating homosexuality when all I was doing was trying to make people less ignorant. That's what bugs me the most!The ignorance of the fact that there are loads of us out there who are trying to do the right thing and stay silent. I know lots of hetro couples in the truth who are dealing with crazy situations,but being gay is sometimes viewed as a worse sin...its just nuts! I am a grounded man who loves Jehovah and were it not for my relationship with him, I don't know how I would cope in life. I am not looking for pity from the cong, just less ignorance of gay people...we are not paeodphiles or sexual deviants.Far from it! We are looking for the same things as everybody else in the truth wants...love and security in this crazy world...until it all ends. Except we don't have the luxury to find a partner to live in this system with and enjoy the intimacy and love that some people die looking for. I find that tough too when my hetro mates in the truth get married and have kids and do all the things I would so wish with all my heart to have myself! Its not easy,but it is manageable. I'm 35 now. Does it get easier...no. Like everything in life...you learn to adjust. The new system can't come quick enough for me. I've prayed about this for as long as I can remember and like everybody else in life...some days are better than others. I hope and pray for you all,keep fighting! If you can,use this site to support yourself. If you can tell your family and friends do so. One of the worse parts is keeping it all to yourself,I nearly made myself sick doing that. Being gay is nothing shameful,Jehovah loves you regardless. Don't feel ashamed of yourself and the gay feelings that you have...be proud that you are making Jehovahs heart glad...despite this. May Jehovah bless you all as you hang on in there till this planet gets made over. Agape Sean
Comments: Your site is wonderful. I hope to "meet" some of you for encouragement.
Comments: Hi Everyone. I have stumbled on this site purely by accident and can't believe there are other brothers who feel like me. I am married with a young family but have struggled for years with SSA. Why did I marry? I guess its what we all think is the right thing to do in the truth. Don't get me wrong I love my wife and children very much but sometimes the feelings of isolation have been too overwhelming. I often sit at circuit and district assemblies wondering if I am the only brother to feel this way surrounded by hundreds and thousands of people. I do feel I need to talk to someone face to face in my area who feels like me so if there is anyone in the north east of england who is able to chat to me please email me back.
Comments: Hi all, i have to say i stumbled upon this site by accident after looking for a newspaper write up on a recent convention i was at. Getting ready to click the delete button upon finding anything apostate i carried on reading. I have to just say this one thing having notexperienced these feelings at all myself i still want you to know that other brothers and sisters (mature) in the truth (that dosnt just mean old) do have empathy. My small story is i have a bad spell suffering from depression, i told friends about it and some never phoned and called and even the elders didnt understand, now im better still have it but found a lot of friends in the conregation who understand, or if they dont they try, friends who call and listen. I know what its like to feel like you cant breath for trying to find the right words to describe and the fear of an honest chat. While i serve as a ministerial servant and have for the past almost 10 years and also brought up in the truth i know well that jehovahs organisation is imperfect and the ones in it are imperfect includeing ourselves but i also know that its as perfect as you will find anywhere in this earth. I guess what im trying to say is if you do not get the response you expected dont loose heart. Jeh knows well , dont the wt & aw show that - i reminded myself of the articles listed here and there so honest,and thoose articles came from feedback from bro and sisters that were honest like yourself and found a hearing ear. I lost a friend in the uk (home) who left for a gay relationship but i know in my heart it was the fear of the response from friends than the compulsion to act on thoose feelings! Personally i find it refreshing to find bro and sisters honest with there feelings and not acting on them because of a love for jehovah no matter how strong at times thoose feelings are, it shows how strong your love is for jehovah and not for displeasing him ! While i dont condone even on email talking to df persons, i hope this site reassures active wittness or thoose returning to jeh, including thoose df who read it - to be assured that there are bro and sis that understand , that jeh knows exactly. One final thing before i go (and before i write a book), something that helps me is to remeber gal 5:22,23. the fruit of the spirit is and includes JOY while the spirit dosnt cause erraticate our feelings or problems whatever they are it can gives us joy which helps us to carry on. Because i dont know bout you but if im missrable in the truth im not going to make it - and that my friend is not an option.
Comments: I think that this is a needed site for people to come to. It will most likely never be an easy thing to live a loveless life(without a partner) though. People in the christian congregation must be more understanding. Yes we must hate what is bad, but not beat those not actively seeking it.
Comments: Hello Kahmia and Welcome! Yes these feelings at times are overwhelming to all of us that is completely understandable. I am so grateful for the Truth and for this website. When time permits sit and read the postings and stories that others have written, you will see you are not alone. You stated that you are young and have a love for God and for family, a wonderful start. Keep planting seeds in your mind of the New System and what your dreams are of living as a woman growing to perfection and serving Jehovah. When I get depressed, which is often I run these thoughts through my mind. This system does offer us all we can feel and see for now, but that it is dying. We have a chance at something far more than our wildest dreams to look forward to in the New System. You did not depress me, I am so glad that you found this forum and that you posted! May Jehovah's loving arms wrap around you to comfort you my sister. Look up, edL
Comments: Hello, I am new to this site. To make a long story short, I am going through a very tough time in my life. I have been baptized for three years, and these have been the most painful. I love God, and I love my family. But I feel so torn. I just want what every girl my age wants (I am in my early twenties)- love and family. However, I cannot love a man in "that way." I live in the U.S. and I attend a congregation that is primarily African American. This makes things even harder. Because the stigma against same sex attractions is even stronger among the black community. I often suffer through many derogatory remarks about individuals who do have same sex attractions. I'm sad, I'm torn. And I find it hard to think that things will turn out OK. I pray so often, but I cry even more. I never thought that I would have to suffer through something so emotionally debilitating. I'm young and I have so much ahead of me, how can I live like this, in so much repression, anger and sadness. I hope I haven't depressed you guys. I guess I better go before my comments become too long winded. Kahmia
Comments: Andy aged 27 who posted (not shown) on 16th Sept 2007, can I ask you to email me please. You ask about visiting your local Kingdom Hall, and I'd like to strongly encourage you to do so. |
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