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Comments: Dear brothers & sisters My brothers i am black gay jw in South Africa. I am very proud of myself. I am very open with my situation to avoid putting my heart to love with a poor brother. I knew the site 4 long time now but never posted. I have went through a lot as everybody else eg. Major depression, suecide attempt, etc. Now i am living the life, i came out to parents and friends. And i want to take the initiative to teach other christians what is it, how can they help? etc. Brothers we must stop pettying ourself and let jehovah use us to reavile the new beginnings about homosexuality.thing of those young witnesess who have to go through the torture. We can help them, make their parents, congrigation and elders understand. Prouldy gay(not acting on my feelings)jw.
Comments: How refreshing to read realistic comments about this very real challenge. The site appears to be as loyal to Jehovah as I want to remain. Thank you.
Comments: Hey Chris Deutsch ist nicht meine stärkste Sprache. Aber ich verstehe ein bischen mit Google-translater ebenfalls hilfreich sein. Ich lebe nicht im Deutschland, sondern gleich nebenan, in Dänemark. Schön, endlich erfüllen andere mit ähnlichen Gefühlen. Du bist nicht allein . Soren
Comments: Dear brothers and sisters. Can´t tell you how much it means to me finding this website. This is my very first posting here, and I don´t know anybody in here yet. I feel this can be a turning point in my life, and I can´t wait to get to know some of you. I can´t believe that it took me so long to find it. I´m a 34 year old man, and I have had gay feelings ever since I can remember, even as a small child. It came clear to me what theese 'strange' feelings were, when I was about 11-12 years old. Statistics say that about 10% of the worlds population is gay. Being a JW don´t excepts us from statistic, which means that there might be more than 500.000 JWs with gay feelings world wide. I have often wondered why this problem is so shameful to discuss, but I guess it´s the culture, because the bible does not find gay acts worse than other acts that we must restrain from. I live in a very liberal country in Europe, and even here no JWs can talk openly about this. I can only imagine how you are doing in other country's, where this topic is even more ta bu. May this website be a place where we can engourage oneanother to endure this difficulty, by openly share these complex feelings of being gay, and still wanting to be faitfull to Jehovah. Take care out there.  S.B.
Comments: Hello all: I am happy to have been referred to this site by a good friend of mine. Hopefully, through reading other members' comments and encouragement, it can make living in this wicked system of things a little more bearable. Thanks, Holly
Comments: I'm so happy to have found this site. Thank you for posting John's story; I have found his experience to be most endearing and encouraging. This constant struggle that we face before Jehovah is very discouraging and can be detrimental to our spiritual health. I hope that many will find encouragement with the scriptures and fellow virtual association and mature to serve Jehovah with a clean conscience.
Comments: Hi everybody, I just stumbled across the site, well, basically I just wanted to let you brothers and sisters on here know that I greatly appreciate your faith and steadfastness in dealing with what probably is the greatest challenge a Christian could possibly face. You are an inspiration! I'm a 36 yo married brother in the USA, serving as a MS in our cong.
Comments: Hallo Chris, Du sollst wissen, daß du auch hier in Deutschland längst nicht alleine deinen Kampf mit deinen Gefühlen kämpfst. Das Resumee in Erwachet 2/07 ist realistisch:. "Auch wenn manche etwas anderes behaupten: Du kannst solche Gefühlsregungen beherrschen lernen oder zumindest dem Verlangen widerstehen." Als ein Bruder, der einiges Älter ist wie du und der bis heute am "kämpfen" ist, kann ich das gerne bestätigen. Jehova hat mich mit vielen Vorrechten und schönen Erfahrungen gesegnet. Ich verstehe dich sehr gut, Chris, und wünsche dir, daß du eine reife einfühlsame Person finden magst, mit der du auch über deine Gefühle reden kannst. Das kann dir sehr helfen. Vor allem aber: Schütte auch diesbezüglich Jehova dein Herz aus! Ich schau regelmäßig hier ins guestbook und lese vielleicht mal wieder was von dir!?! Lieber Gruß Wolfgang
Comments: I would like to discuss my problem of same sex attraction, in a theocratic manner, with others on your website. My motive is to help others and to be helped as well by others who can relate to these issues. My marriage is happy and fulfilled - temptation, probably though is something I will always have to fight. I am in good standing and active in my local congregation.
Comments: Hi everyone. I'm so happy to find a website like this. I'm a brother in my 20s from the UK and have struggled with same sex feelings since I was young but have only recently accepted that I am gay. I serve as pioneer and ministerial servant but find staying in the truth a constant fight . I look forward to the day when same sex tendencies will be a thing of the past and we can live in peace and happiness in Jehovah's new world. Until then, this website will be my lifeline, as I'm sure it will be for countless others.
Comments: Hallo liebe Brüder und Schwestern, ich bin froh, diese Seite hier wieder gefunden zu haben. Ich habe mich hier früher schon mal häufiger umgesehen, habe dann aber gedacht, dass ich mich in meiner sexuellen Orientierung einfach nur getäuscht habe. Leider ist das nicht so. Mein Leben wird von Tag zu Tag härter - genau wie es wohl bei euch ist. Ich hoffe immer, dass ich weiterhin standhaft bin, aber - manchmal sind die Zweifel wirklich sehr gross. Dazu kommt noch, dass mich die gesamte Situation sehr depressiv gemacht hat. Wenn es hier jemand aus Deutschland - oder allgemein Europa gibt, der mich versteht, kann er sich gerne melden. ----- OK - I`m sorry - my english is really terrible  I`m 34 years old, living in northern germany. I'm a ministeral servant since 2005, but - I'm gay. I didn't have sex, of course, but it's really difficult - every day for me - you know it. Is anybody here from germany?
Comments: "Trying To Understand", thank you for your comments.
Comments: WOW, never saw a site like this that is ran by active witnesses. I seen others that bad mouth the witnesses and you know the story. I've just got into this site and I'm very surprized and happy to see the suport that gay witnesses need so badly. The stories are all the same, but we need to hold out till the end. May Jehovah bless all that that seek suport to stay strong!
Comments: Hi everyone. I don't know what suddenly got into me, but the past few days I have been looking around the net for sites like this one. As you might know, most "gay JW support" sites are run by or are full of apostates so I wasn't happy about being there. About 2 years ago, while I was a regular on a certain Q&A site, a young brother emailed me (and I was soooo honoured that he felt he could confide in me) and told me he had homosexual tendencies and that he was afraid to talk to his father (an elder) or to talk to any other elder because he feared they might tell his father. He then asked me what I thought of his joining a site like this one (one set up to encourage active gay JWs). I did not know how to advise him, and offered to ask some other JWs (also regulars at that site) what they thought, without revealing his ID to them and get back to him with their answers later. Everyone I asked (older brothers, elders etc) said "Don't go there, just talk to your Dad" etc. So I relayed the advice to him and he said thanks and I didn't hear from him again. I have been thinking of him, and hence started my "digging" to further understand the issues involved and all. Oh, in case you haven't figured it out already, I am straight and do not know any homosexuals in real life. I harbored (please notice the use of past tense) almost all the common prejudices against homosexuals and was shocked when I learned that even among the brotherhood are some who feel attracted to members of the same sex. Reading through the comments here and on other sites has helped me see "the other side of the fence" and while I do not understand everything, I do know now that if a brother or sister revealed to me that they were gay, I wouldn't treat them different than I did before they told me (unless of course they were acting on their feelings, that's a different matter altogether). So, I understand it must take LOADS of faith and reliance upon Jehovah, love for his standards and self-control to be gay and a faithful JW and that's encouraging to see. Sorry for writing so much.... but I have one question- and I wrote the stuff above so that you understand if I use terms or phrases that might be offensive (I apologise in advance)- but one issue the brothers raised when I was asking around on behalf of that brother was this: In offering support and encouragement to other brothers and sisters with homosexual feelings on this site and regularly associating with them via email or the forum... isn't there the risk of getting emotionally attached (in a romantic way) to them? Again, I apologise if this comes off as offensive, and if the moderator feels this is not appropriate, you don't have to post it, but could you kindly answer my question via email? I want to see the bigger picture, just in case someone asks me for advice like that young brother did 2 years ago. Agape.
Comments: Hi Everyone...so glad to find such a comforting place. You all are to be commended for your GREAT EFFORTS!!! May Jehovah Bless You ALL.
Comments: Hi there, I am glad to see that there are others looking for comfort with those who can relate 100%. I hope to maybe learn something from here that can help you decide on what to do in certain situations.
Comments: Hello everyone, I had no idea a site like this was out there, and i am so glad i found it. I had often wondered if there were other brothers and sisters with my feelings. And not just the same sex atraction, but that of being scared by the way some "hetero" brothers talk about a gay person.
What is your email address Phil@witnesses.plus.com Comments: Michael thank you for those kind words, much appreciated. I too found the old jwsupport site very helpful. The witnesses.plus.com site currently shows in second place if you do a Google search for terms such as gay Jehovah's Witnesses, and in first place if you do a UK Google search. The link is via the old name of the site. As you know, and as I hope the Rationale and FAQ pages of the site make clear, the site is not operated in any kind of rebel spirit, and the intention is support with a matter that, in many places, is still not easily discussed.
Comments: Dear Phil,
Comments: I need to love and be loved. My mind and body are so tired of this desire that i'm unable to satisfy. It feels like a daily mental torture. Sometimes I just wish I could fall asleep for a long time and wake up in the new system. There is no life without love, at least not one thats worth having. It is Jehovah's love and mercy that keeps me going. I know that he loves me and I know he doesnt want me to feel any hurt. thank you Jehovah for this site Lee
Comments: Salut Xavier, bienvenue à toi ! Nous sommes heureux et triste à chaque fois qu'un nouveau compagnon apparaît ici. Que Jéhovah, notre père aimant comme tu l'écris, nous donne la force et le courage d'accepter ce défi jusqu'au bout. Cela en vaut la peine, il faut garder cela à l'esprit et comme un leitmotiv, parvenir à demeurer fidèle à Dieu est un idéal qui surpasse toute pensée et justifie la perte de toute chose. "Il y a une grande récompense à garder les commandements de Jéhovah".
Comments: Bonjour a tous, Je suis heureux d'avoir trouvé un tel site. Moi-meme je lutte contre des pensées troublantes qui m'assaillent parfois en rapport avec l'attirance envers des personnes de meme sexe, mais je souhaite plus que tout continuer a vivre dans la pureté et ainsi garder la conscience tranquille. J'espere que ce site me donnera davantage de force pour tenir bon dans mon combat. Je souhaite bon courage a également a tous ceux qui se trouvent dans cette meme situation, attendant patiemment le moment a nos difficultés disparaitront grace a notre Pere aimant. Cordialement, Xavier.
Comments: I have struggled with SSA feelings for many years and just recently have begun doing much reading about the issue. From what I have read about one's family of origin and childhood environment, I could be the poster child for it. Just now found this site and wished I had years ago. I hope it is a source of mutual encouragement. Jay B.
Comments: Hi everyone! I'm a 27 year old brother in the USA. I love Jehovah deeply and serve as an elder and regular pioneer. I have been struggling with an attraction to the same sex since I was a pre-teen, but with Jehovah's help I am coping with my feelings. Honestly, it does sometimes hurt to think that I will likely have to remain single in this system, because I truly desire love and companionship. I am trying to widen out and make new friends, male and female, in the hopes of lessining my desire for romantic love. I am also focusing on the ministry, especially helping people by means of Bible studies. It's nice to know I'm not alone in this struggle. I want you brothers and sisters to know that I pray for all of you every day, and I hope you will pray for me, too. Your brother, "Jay"
Comments: Hello everybody! I'm glad to find this site! It gives an opportunity to talk openly about feelings and give and receive support. I'm not attracted to my own sex. But I admire brothers and sisters who serve Jehovah with their whole heart and don't give up! Greetings to all! Kate
Comments: I always wondered if there were other brothers in my situation. I talked to an elder in my congregation about my homosexual feelings, and he put me in contact with a brother who is dealing with the same "problem." Then he told me about this web site, which I have to say is like a breath of fresh air. Now I don't feel so alone in this world. I think I'll be okay.
Comments: Dear sisters and brothers, I´m very happy to now, that I´m not alone in my everyday struggle with SSA. Take care and all the best to everyone of you! Dear greetings, Andre
Comments: I'm not quite good at starting messages like this most of the time, but... I'm new to this site and would like to join. Although I'd like to stay anonymous for the moment. As I've mentioned before, I hope this site proves to be a source of encouragement for everyone who decides to visit it. There are many different kinds of struggles that all of Jehovah's servants must go through to continue serving him with a clean conscience and are able to endure with his help, and from help proved by him through other brothers and sisters. I hope this site will benefit more people who are suffering because of this transient system of things. -Your Brother in the United States
Comments: B, who recently posted twice, thanks for the information and suggestion. I surmise who you might be, and would be pleased to hear from you.
Comments: Please note that posts to this Guestbook will not be accepted unless a accompanied by a valid email address. Email addresses are only visible to me, not to anyone else.
Comments: I'm a brother from a the states. Nice to have this wonderful site where we can offer encouragement and upbuild one another. . .Especially as the end draws near we don't need to be losing anymore of our dear brothers and sisters. .Look forward to interacting with you guys. Ciao
Comments: Hi Eric and welcome isn't what you say exactly what is mentionned in 1 Co 10:13 "no temptation has taken you except what is common to men". There was a time when I also wondered how this "thorn" could possibly be shared by others, and questionned about this verse applying to every kind of situation. Now we know this is true : no human being is faced to any trial that is specific and exceptional. At least there are a few other ones sharing the same difficulty, and it's good to know that and realize, as a consequence, that we are not totally left alone in a new and unique trial. This problem is an old problem, and, most probably, many other people have had to resist this attraction while endevouring to do God's will. That being said, it really is a challenge for brave ones. You can be one of them !
Comments: Hi everyone. I wanted to introduce myself and say how happy I am to see that what we are told repeatedly is true, namely: we are not alone in our struggles.
Comments: I found this website just a few days ago and this is my first post. I was very encouraged by what I have read. I pioneered for years, worked hard as an elder, and kept busy doing all the right things. I married and had children and worked very hard for my family. Only later and in the last 10 years did my struggle with SSA become so intense that I eventually, about two years ago, began praying, reading voluminously, and seeking help. Nine months ago I began reparatve therapy in earnest and have found much help and relief. In addition, I have done other kinds of therapy, including working with a witness psychotherapist who is an elder. I am excited and optimistic. I've had some very exciting experiences. Of course, time will tell what results I can ultimately achieve. Thank you, everyone, for sharing and giving us the opportunity to learn from one another. J
Comments: Anonymous, I wonder if you are confusing the GUESTBOOK of the witnesses.plus.com website, with the FORUM of the site? (Please see the homepage www.witnesses.plus.com/index.html ). Of course the witnesses.plus.com website itself, like any site on the worldwide web, can be googled. You may even have noted that for some considerable time, this site showed in first place on Google with a search for terms such as "gay Jehovah's Witnesses". The whole of this Guestbook part of the witnesses.plus.com site, and the four Guestbooks that preceded this current one, are visible to anyone with internet access. The pen-names of those who write to the Guestbook are visible along with their comments. However, email addresses are NOT visible (except mine). I'm not sure what you mean by "the moderator". It should be noted that the FORUM part of the witneses.plus.com website is password-protected and cannot be accessed via any search engine. As an added security measure, email addresses are not shown there either.
Comments: does everyone know that this site can be googled and shows up in a search with all comments and names showing?? to the moderator, please delete any of my posts ASAP. Thanks!
Comments: Hello Maru, Welcome at this place. You will find a lot of encouraging words here. It helped me quite a lot to know that I am not the only one dealing with ssa. I understand your feelings not to fit the standards of being a Jehovah Witness. And about the feeling to commit suicide: I also understand that, but it's not that you don't want to live, but you don't like the situation you're in now. (job 14:13). You'll find a lot of friends here who can help you to find the strenght to go on... Your brother from the Netherlands, M.
Comments: I'm so glad I stumbbled upon this site, i am a 20 y/o son of a PO and in constant state of worry because I feel like I don't fit the standards of being Jehovah's witness. Sometimes I get so depressed because of this that I honestly considered suicide. Anyway just to know that I am not alone in this situation is solace enough, i really can't believe this, comments I read are true and encouraging. I always pray to Jehovah I get over with this feelings but doing it on my own is dangerous enough, I hope older experienced bros/sis can guide me thru this. Greetings
Comments: Bonjour. Merci pour votre accueil. J'ai en effet remarquer qu'il y avait un forum en français, mais je n'ai pas encore tout lu !! En tout cas, c très intéressant. Je laisserai l'un ou l'autre commentaire à l'occasion. Encore merci à tous pour vos encouragements surtout à Phil de continuer à gérer ce site. A bientôt.
Comments: Très cher Romu, comme Bri le dit, c'est un grand encouragement et un réel réconfort pour nous aussi lorsque quelqu'un comme toi décide et fait les pas nécessaires pour revenir dans le peuple de Jéhovah après en être sorti pour ce motif. Pour moi, cela confirme que la vie dans le monde, même avec cette liberté de satisfaire nos désirs, ne compense pas la perte spirituelle subie, et que l'amitié avec Jéhovah a plus de poids que la satisfaction du coeur et de la chair. Merci pour ton témoignage. Nous espérons lire bientôt d'autres commentaires de ta part dans la partie française du forum.
Comments: Romu Ca m'a fait beaucoup chaud au coeur de lire ton commentaire. Je suis content que tu est revenue a Jehovah. Ta commententaire m'encourage aussi a savoir que le monde n'a rien a nous offrir. J'ai besoin de l'entendre de temps en temps car son attrait est tellement fort. Rebienvenue dans l'organisation et je te souhaite le meilleure dans tes progres spirituel.
Comments: Hi everybody ! I am 24 and I live in Belgium (French speaking part so sorry for my English !). Last year I found this website by chance and it was interesting to me. It was a real encouragement to know that brothers from different places ot the planet are in the same situation and can serve Jehovah despite of that situation. Here is my history: I left the congregation 4 years ago, however I was educated in a christian family and had sincerely served Jehovah of my best for 8 years ! I knew about my SSA since I was 15 but I always thought that it would change later. In fact, it never changed. It was hard for me because I felt misunderstood, and I dit not manage to tell about it to my friends or my parents. I also thought that it was a sort of punition, but I did not know why it was happening to me ! I made a mistake because Jehovah could help me and understand me, but I had not that conviction at that time. I had an other problem: I was to proud to accept that Jehovah and the Bible were true. That's why I finally left the organisation. Of course it was a shock for all the congregation because nobody had heard about my "problem". My parents were terribly afflicted by my decision but they continued to respect the biblic principles, stopping their contact with me, and now I can be grateful to them : it showed me that they really believe in Jehovah. I lived a few years without Jehovah but I never forgot him. I tried to find hapiness without Jehovah but I never found it in the world. Last year I was on the internet and I found your website "accidentally". When I was visiting it, reading so many commentaries, I wondered: "If they can do it, why could I not do it too?" So I prayed Jehovah and told him that I wanted to come back to his people. It was not easy to make the changes before my reintegration but since a week it's done with the help of my Creator and the elders of the congregation ! Now I have a different state of mind: I have accepted my situation as a proof of my faith and I am ready to live alone and to give up with my feelings because I am certain that Jehovah can understand my situation and that he will help me to bear it. My parents (particularly my mother) have also changed their state of mind: they accept that I will maybe not get married in the present world and I am sure that they will support me in my situation. Thank you for your encouragements !!
Comments: It truly is amazing to have stumbled upon this site. I just knew it! I knew that there were others such as myself: single, celibate, a Witness, a lover of Jehovah and his love and with an attraction to the same sex. I can't sum up all of my feelings and thoughts in this one post, only to say that I agree with some responses and disagree with others. When I get my password, I would like to share my experiences, and encouragement with all of you as this site has already done for me! Thanks!
Comments: Dear friends and brothers, I `m from Germany and in the same situation like Robbie (married and two now adult daughters) So you see I`m not the youngest here! For me it`s not easy too to live with feelings for my own sex. At the beginning of our marriage I thought this feelings would disappear, but this was not! I think the best I have done was to tell my wife all my feelings just at the beginning of our marriage. My wife was and is till now very understanding and helps me more I ever could imagine. At the other hand I never found a brother with same feelings like me. Surely this was because I was afraid to come out wether to brothers nor friends, except of one ore two. Now I hope this is changing! (sorry my bad english) Greetings W.
Comments: Hi everybody! I'm a french brother (so I'm sorry for my english but I try...). I find this site very amazing and really comforting because of the many lived experiences, the good advices, etc... I knew that some of my brother had the same feelings. But I can't imagine to have the possibilty to talk to them one day to help us each other. See you soon in the forum (I hope!) Swann
Comments: Dear Robbie, It is not wrong to be married with two sons! I am surprised and sorry to hear that no-one treats you seriously. Could I gently and respectfully suggest that you are mistaken in thinking so? Surely brothers do not really avoid you and think you dangerous, just because you have feelings for your own sex, and are married. Friendship is certainly very important in life, isn’t it. We can find true friends in the Christian Congregation. And if one is married, one’s spouse should be one’s intimate friend. But while true friends are invaluable, it is helpful to keep in mind the comments made in The Watchtower of November 15 2004 in discussing Proverbs 14:10: “This proverb also teaches that although it is comforting to turn to an empathetic friend for emotional support, humans are limited in the comfort they can offer. We may have to rely on Jehovah alone when it comes to enduring some difficulties.”
Comments: Dear friends & brothers, I am not very often on this place.... my only own wrong things are that I am ..... gay ...... and married.... with two sons.... nobody tract me seriously ---- straight brothers know me but affraid me, gay bro---- avoid me because I am a dangerous element for them---- bexcause I love one women.... Going to right things..... I am awaiting for clean friendship only, I am looking for good experienced older firend who can help me with my own worry, who can share own experience with me--- this ood and worse. I am waiting for some one who can be true friend for me ,,, and being a brother in the same time--- I am loooking for this more than you thing last time. It is a very difficult time for me---- because I am alone with my strugle and all problems. Please, be halpfull for me, Rob
Comments: Hello Lee, I think we all here know what you are feeling. We all struggle with that. I also hate myself sometimes. But Jehovah knows what you are feeling and he knows how hard you are struggling. Try not to blame yourself for this. It's because we are imperfect and that's why we feel those things. If you try to look at it that way than you know that it is not you who is causing this problem. And because Jehovah knows how hard you are struggling, he loves you more than ever, because you are giving the answer to his opponent Satan. Every day of struggling and staying loyal to Jehovah is a way to strengthen your friendship with Jehovah. Lee, stay strong, Your brother Marcel 
Comments: Lee, of course you are absolutely right about what God said when Adam was the only human in Eden. It was God's purpose for Adam and Eve to be the complement of each other - that which makes complete. Musing about it, though, I was reflecting that those words were said while Adam was in Eden, and perfect. They reflected God's purpose for the Earth and mankind upon it, later expanded with the commands to multiply and to cultivate the Earth. To imperfect humans, living in the straits of the times, Jesus, and later the apostle Paul, recommended maintaining room for continued singleness We can certainly be sure, though, that under the rule of the Messianic kingdom, which will bring God's will to be done on Earth as it is in heaven, Christ the King will arrange for all to be happy. As to praying for one's sexual desire to change its orentation: Well, that's a big topic! In the Forum of this site, the longest thread is on "Therapy for change?". Writer, activist and polemicist Wayne Besen in his informative book "Anything But Straight" and in other writings, uses the term "pray away the gay". I have not been able to find any credible evidence that any person anywhere at any time has changed the orientation of sexual desire either by prayer or by any kind of "therapy" (although one person credibly described a process wherein he believed he was in the course of doing so - but he stopped corresponding). I don't want to expand too much on all this in this Guestbook, though, as most of the in-depth discussion takes place in the Forum I am sure many of us can identify with your comments, though, Lee!
Comments: You guys are all very kind and thoughtful, thank you for your messages of encouragement. I know it's not a bad thing to be single but I also know that Jehovah said "it is not good for man to be alone". I just want to be with someone I love and have Jehovah's blessing...I don't want him to feel disgusted with me for every bad thought I have. If others were to know my true feelings then they would be disgusted with me too. I've prayed so hard from being a young teenager for these feelings to go away...but they never do. I love Jehovah very much and I know he loves me and doesn't want me to be hurt. Without him there is little in this world for me. May be if I ever make it into the new system I will be able to hold and love someone in my arms just as it was meant to be with Jehovah's blessing. Love really is everything...who knows better than Jehovah? |
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