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Comments: Greetings brothers and sisters I thank Jehovah that I found this site. It been so encouraging to read the experiences and to know that I am not alone. I was born and raised in the truth, but my same sex attraction always hindered my dedication to Jehovah because I felt that I was not worthy. At one point I even thought of leaving the organisation but that's not what I really wanted. The experiences of the brothers and sisters show that it is still possible to serve Jehovah and that he still loves us. With Jehovah's help I will continue to endure until He puts a end to this wicked system of things. Warmest Regards, Cris
Comments: To Luca: How are you? I know your situation is tough too, and I think of you as a friend.
Comments: Who can we show loyal love to? Who is reading this wondering if they can continue to serve the one true God as a gay or trans person? Who thinks they are alone in this struggle? As the end draws nigh, do not believe Satans lie that you don’t belong in Jehovahs organization. Do you feel like Mephibosheth? Like a “dead dog”,unworthy? But that’s who Jehovah through David said..THAT’S THE ONE I want to show loyal love too. Join us..let us have an interchange of encouragement! You are not alone. Let’s prove the devil a liar together!
Comments: Hi everyone, im roberth, im JW, and im gay this is very difficult sometimes for me, i want support; It's a pleacure for me to be here. I'm 17 and im living in Los Cabos, México Grettings dear brothers and sisters, I love you
Comments: Warmest greetings, brothers and sisters. I am so glad I found this site. I’ve read your stories, and I want to share mine. I grew up in the truth, and I’ve known I’m gay since I was 6. Like you all, I prayed to Jehovah to make me straight, to fix me. But it never happened. I then cane to the conclusion that Jehovah must’ve intended for me to be gay. That he created me this way. It was the only explanation I could come up with that made any sense. I struggled with suicidal thoughts for several years. I postponed baptism because I wanted to wait until my feelings went away. Well, after graduating from high school I left the truth and began to live my life as an openly gay man. I felt happy to be comfortable in my own skin. I met a man, and we were together for 10 years. That has since ended, and I’ve been going back to the meetings and studying for a year. Leaving someone I loved is the hardest, most crushing decision I’ve ever made. It ultimately came down to who I loved more, him or Jehovah. The loneliness and the emptiness are sometimes unbearable. The only thing that gets me through some days is the hope that Jehovah gives us. Does anyone else ever feel like they’d rather have any other battle to fight than this one? I’m trying to stay loyal to Jehovah. I know the end is near, I think we can all see that. I just worry I won’t be able to withstand the sadness. I keep all of you in my prayers, every single one of us around the world who is fighting this. May Jehovah give us all strength, endurance, and guidance always.
Comments: Hello everyone. I just came across the website... have been completely broken lately... the feelings of loneliness are overwhelming... I know I'm gay since a few years back... I tried to look up at sisters and tried to connect... no luck... in the other hand, its easy to connect with a brother... I feel pressured in all ways, I feel I have no escape... I feel lost... Maybe I can get some help here! I hope I can survive another day. Hope on meeting you soon! Best Flip
Comments: Hello, you guys It is so good to be able to chat with you around here. I'm Alan. I want to make some new friends. I know there's a lot of nice and awesome people here. So, I'll be around. It's so nice to meet you all. 😂😎
Comments: Hi Abigail So pleased your first experience opening up has been so positive! Hopefully it will really help you having someone to confide in and be able to be yourself more around. You’re not cowardly, far from it! You’re extremely brave to endured what you have and to battle through every dayyou’re being cautious and that’s a good thing, also you don’t want to reveal to your Dad something that might hurt him and that’s commendable. You’re right, although we face these issues in different ways, we are united by the same problem and can empathise with one another. I’ll keep going if you keep going! Thinking of you and hope you’re doing ok xoxo
Comments: Hello! Happy to find a place where I can both express myself and not worry over bad influences. Sincerely, Eli
Comments: Hi Angela Although I’m not married to a gay witness, I fully sympathise with your situation. So often the emphasis is placed on helping the transgender or gay individual due to the pain they face and it can be so easy to lose sight of loved ones around them who can suffer just as much. Unfortunately I don’t know of anyone currently on the forum who is in your situation, although L has a son who is gay and BC has experience with being a straight sister who has dealt with those close to her experiencing same-sex attraction. Both are mature sisters who might be able to help you. You don’t just need love, you deserve it. Really hope Jehovah gives you and your husband all the love, strength and support you need. Warm Christian love x
Comments: Hi Luca, you are so sweet and encouraging! My first experience opening up about this has been overwhelmingly positive thanks to you and this resource. Unfortunately, I am not sure if I will ever be able to tell my dad about this. I hate to sound cowardly, but I am so ashamed especially to talk to my dad about it because he has very strong, negative opinions of people like me, and I doubt he'd understand. I know I should at least give him a chance, but I am very hesitant. I will be thinking of you too. I'll keep you in my prayers. Even though we don't know each other personally, we are united by this mutual struggle, and that makes me feel sympathetic.
Comments: I’m married to a gay JW. Anyone else out there in my situation? While this site provides a plethora of encouragement for gays and trans it would be nice if I could speak to a spouse. We need love too!
Comments: Hi Abigail So sorry to hear about your ongoing issues. It’s doubly hard when you have to pretend to be something you’re not around those you’re closest to, not just society in general. My Mum and Dad are good on the whole although they didn’t like it when I lost a lot of muscle and got very slim, so the opposite to you really! Is it possible to tentatively approach the subject with your Dad, rather than have him suspect you are gay (which you are not if you are transgender and inwardly a man, who finds women attractive). Obviously we don’t know what your Dad is like, so that is something for you to consider when the time is right, if ever. I really hope things get better for you and you cope ok. Well done for studying and trying to put Jehovah first. He has to reward all the efforts you’re making! Lots of love to you, will be thinking of you xxx
Comments: Dear friends - I can't explain how grateful I am to have found this site! It is truly comforting to know I'm not the only one with these issues. Feeling like I was the wrong gender growing up in the truth in the '60's, was like living a nightmare. When I wasn't attracted to my biological gender (female), rather I was attracted to the gender I FELT like, I further thought that made me a homosexual transgender... Thank you for putting this together!
Comments: Ed, Abigail, V...WELCOME! So glad you found the site! Many here will be able to relate to your situation in one way or another. Personally after I joined and read many of the past posts I found my thoughts and feelings expressed by others. What comfort to see others dealing with the same issues. We look forward to hearing more from you in the forum. Ed - Special greetings from the OTHER Vancouver ![[smile]](https://cdn.websitetoolbox.com/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif "Smile - :)")
Comments: Hi everyone, I found this site by pure mistake one night when I was particularly struggling and I'm so glad I did. I knew I wasn't alone, and I know the feeling won't get away, but actually seeing other people story really touched me. I'm someone who really can't hide anything, Whenever anything happens I love to share it with my friends, but I've actually never any of them about being gay and it's excruciatingly painful. I prayed so many times to just find someone to talk to who would just sympatize with me, and until now I haven't found anyone that would remotely be understanding,
Comments: Also, the convention was so amazing, (about not giving up) it was like a gift from Jehovah. Even when it feels like no one will understand your situation, Jehovah always does and he cares about us all!
Comments: Hi Phil, I'm sorry I didn't leave a correct email the first time! This is an email I can be reached at. I didn't give a correct email the first time because as I said before I'm really nervous about people finding out about my feelings. But now I see you did write that you need a valid email Oops!
What is your email address Phil@witnesses.plus.com Comments: Posts to this Guestbook must be accompanied by a valid email address. The email address is not shown, but is needed for admin purposes.
Comments: Wow, it's been a long time! But just in case you see this, thank you so much Luca, you are so encouraging, and I share your pain. A lot has changed since I last wrote on this forum, but as of late unfortunately I am really struggling with being attracted to women, and I feel like I can't tell anybody ever, so this site is a lifesaver. Like it isn't bad enough to be transgender! Since a lot of brothers and sisters have been telling their story, this is mine: as I said before, I used to be extremely muscular, and was criticized by my dad. Then he also started to accuse me of being gay, and I was hurt and ashamed and moved out but had to move back home recently. Now I'm trying to be more feminine and please my dad, but the pain is unbearable. Nobody can ever know not even the sister I am studying with . . .
Comments: Welcome, Ed. I wish some brothers from Portugal may sign this Guestbook.
Comments: Hello everyone -- I have been checking this website over the last 3-4 months and very thankful someone started this. I thought I was the only one experiencing it. I thought I was the only JW who feels being different inside the congregation. I am currently in Vancouver Canada -- hoping i can make friends as depression and loneliness have really been driving me crazy. Hi Phil - i hope i can join the forum, do you have the password
Comments: Sam, Rob, John, glad to have you here! You've found many who can relate to your issues and will be a great source of comfort for this thorn in our flesh. As the regional and circuit assemblies have emphasised, Don't Give Up! Myself and others look forward to hearing your stories in the forum.
Comments: Im currently serving as ministerial servant and my sexuality is still driving me crazy.
Comments: Hello all, I found this website and I'm happy I did. Thing is, though I've had these feelings for quite some time, I want a shot at a normal life. I want to get married, be a great husband to my wife, and help others as a good Witness. I feel sad at times that I didn't choose this, sad that sometimes I can't control how I feel around guys, sad that I can't really share this with anyone because no one really understands how it is unless they've gone through it. I feel like talking about this would expose me to the stigma that often times comes with homosexuality. I'm not a pervert, but it may be hard to convince others you're not. Plus, it can be dangerous if you DO find someone just like you and you start telling them these things! So I'm happy I'm here and that I can find support to keep on doing the right thing
Comments: Hi need help really i wont give out my loggings i am down and out emotionaly
Comments: Hi Sky: Your post is very moving to say the least. I feel your pain and I don't mean that passively. I know we are all different but the common struggle we face is excruciatingly painful emotionally especially as the years accumulate. Please know that you have a God who cares so deeply for you. (As if you already don't know that, I know) Hard to imagine but all this pain and sadness will soon be over. The study article for Sundays W (Sep 10th) is so very encouraging. I don't know your status , but if you haven't seen it, please do. Please don't do anything drastic as you express feelings of taking your life. You are precious , your honest and sincere post truly brings this out. I'm sure Jah feels it even more. This group is of great encouragement , it would be a pleasure to have you along, i'm sure it can help you too! take care,
Comments: Hello, my friends. I was extremely discouraged. I was considering suicide even. Honestly, I wanted to find something - ANYTHING to get me out of this funk I've been in for the past 10 years. I'm so happy I found something. I hope that what I find here is encouraging, and I pray for the brothers and sisters who are going through what I am. It's so painful at times. With that said, I know Jehovah cares for each one of us, and he understands that we are dust.
Comments: (^_^)/° Hi ! Evan... and others.. Thank you for your kind support. I have been an unbaptised publisher for 2 years. Evan you were right... Yes, what should i have to waiting for ? I should get baptized, the longer time i postpone, i guess the more excuses will come out. This 2017 year the International convention will be held in Indonesia wohoo... LOL ټ for Glen Fredly @Evan 😁.. Dear all my beloved brothers, do not hesitate to move forward and to pleased JEHOVAH, because when the time has come, all your sacrifice to cope the sexual drive or anything, will be paid for the perfect life in paradise.
Comments: Hi MAP Yes, you set out your struggle very clearly - your internal dialogue: what you feel and wish, versus what you know; what you tried; what your conscience told you; where it hurts; etc. Overall, what stands out is your honesty and your sense of readiness to get serious about serving Jehovah, getting baptized and making a career out of preaching about Jehovah's goodness. Good on you! Then, why not take the next step and enter the Forum, where you'll get all the encouragement you need to pursue those goals. All who are currently active there have benefited from the group interchange. There's nothing to fear - no one's gonna ask you for your contact info (nothing more than what you've already supplied to Phil, which is kept confidential); we don't need your picture, or your address (you've already said you're from Indonesia, and that's sufficient), or the name of your congregation, lol. Don't disappoint, then! We look forward to seeing you on the Forum. (Besides, I'm anxious to hear more of that cute accent of yours (the way you express yourself in English)! Thank you for writing!
I'm Evan - from the Caribbean Islands.
Comments: Hello All, I felt that Jehovah, keep watching on me/ guide me and all of you too.. I'm really glad to found this website, I can sense that He never stopped to give me a chance to return back to the truth. I was raised in truth since i was 7 Y.o and pop up with this feeling since i was 10 y.o, how did this thing happens? I believe simply because we are all sinned inheritance /imperfect, and each one will be challenged with their own torture. Sometimes i felt that my sin is most the difficult one ( compare to drugs addict, steal addict) but is not true.... just simply we never had that experiences so we found that case is an easy issue. How can i change my sexual direction - the answer is we can't; we only can control it . Gal 5:16 , we cannot count on ourself, we must count on Jehovah. The main problem of being gay is loneliness, once you reach 30's, all of your friends, family members are being married, while we are still single. And yes marriage is not the only way for being happy to have a life partner ( but it is good to talk, share or cuddle) I used to being naive, it's ok to have a boyfriend as long as we didn't commit a sexual encounter and just hugging. And we went to the meetings together. But deep down in my heart can't lie, im so hypocrite. I decided to end that relationship. I was drifting away like a waste of plastic bag, until i found this website, i gained my confident level that Im totally worthy in Jehovah's eye. I found that the key to exclude ourself from sex arousal is to avoid the social media. Instagram, tumblr, path, fb ( the worst is gay dating app) altough we might thinking just for chat, or looking some friends. Actually we just gave out a weapon to satan. I'm so glad that Jehovah can read our mind and heart; he still sees your love toward him, that's why all of you are here, to give the support and spirit. I keep postponing my Baptism, because I'm afraid to fall again after being baptised. Now i gained my spirit, 'cause i know that I'm not alone. I have Jehovah and all of you. The best carrier in life is what Jehovah and Jesus has offered, to spread the news of Jehovah's Kingdom. i can sense the happines to open people eyes about the truth and forgetting away of my own problem. May Jehovah bless all of you, my dear brothers all around the world Regards, Your Indonesian Brother
Comments: K, V, J and Anthony, and anyone else Welcome Aboard! K- Hi I am FTM too. You are not alone. Anthony..believe it or not I sooo relate to your story, I KNOW your pain. I look forward to sharing an interchange of encouragement with all of you. I would like to encourage anyone reading this to attend the regional convention. DO NOT GIVE UP! Jehovah loves us and wants us all to endure and succeed. Whatever you have sacrificed for Jehovah will be abundantly worth it as he will open the floodgates of heaven and pour out a blessing until there is no more want. Remember Satan is why we are all suffering. Do not give in to him who accuses us day and night. All on here who strive to serve despite this thorn in the flesh are precious to our loving Heavenly Father. Hang On! We are almost there!
Comments: Hi, I don't even know where to start. I've known I was gay since I was a kid. I've struggled and prayed but it wouldn't go away. I wound up just giving in getting into a relationship and pretty much led a double life for years until I just couldn't do it any more so I confessed. I was disfellowshipped and then reinstated a year later. I tried to be happy but even in my reinstatement meeting I faked being happy because the sadness never left. The elders really didn't understand what I was going through and I think they avoided it because it made them uncomfortable. I started doubting everything and wound up just leaving, I got back in another relationship but the Truth is always deep in there even when you try to block it out. I struggled with why am I like this for so long but I'm realizing it doesn't matter, what matters is serving Jehovah and he can make this go away when it's time. I started going back to the meetings recently. The brothers aren't forcing me to tell them what's been happening; they're letting me do it in my own time which is quite different from what I'm used to. I stopped engaging in sexual activity but I'm struggling with the sadness. Leaving my partner of six years is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I know it's the right thing but sometimes the pain is too much. I just needed to say it. I thank Jehovah for finding this forum.
Comments: Hello all my dear Brothers & Sisters. Right now all I can say is Jehovah truly knows what we need when we need it! Discovering this site could not have come at a better time. I don't know why I decided today to look up "Gay Jehovah's Witnesses" on Google, but so thankful I did. I was discouraged at first looking at all the apostate info. But then I found this site. I've read just about everything posted. I'm so glad I was able to read many of the posts on the guestbook. 1 Peter 5:9 truly came to mind..."knowing that the same kind of sufferings are being experienced by the entire association of your brothers in the world." I know we are few, in regards to many, with these feelings but I feel that I finally found a group of Jehovah's people to be able to share the struggles and pains that I feel and go through on a daily basis. I have faith that we can help each other to stay strong and not give up! I was reinstated in 5/2016 after being away for just about 16 years. It's so good to be back "home" but I let myself fall away and now have to deal with my consequences and it has hit home as of recent. So, I'm glad I found you all when I did. I've asked for the password and hope to get that soon. Meanwhile, know that I pray for each and everyone of you because I know how much I struggle.
Comments: Hi, I'm V*** and I've been struggling with this for like 5 years now. I think the feelings really started when I discovered immoral entertainment and since then, it's been really difficult and lonely. This forum seems to be for those HC JWs who want to live by Jehovah's standards, which is exactly what I want to do. I need encouragement and wherever I can give support, I'd be happy to do so. También hablo espanol para quienes son hispanos. Please, please, please allow me access to this forum.
Comments: Hi Everyone! I am in a better frame of mind now in great part thanks to reading your posts. What a relief to find brothers and sisters like me after all these decades!!! I am sure you can relate to my relief. I am a f-t-m trans. That is I am bio a female but have ALWAYS identified as male. It is so depressing and upsetting when I hear and read comments in our publications that equates us to pedophiles, perverts, and other monsters. We need to be spiritually encouraged and find association upbuilding. Some times it is just the opposite. Guess it is easy to be righteous overmuch about an issue one doesn't have. For example, say some have problems with alcohol abuse. I do not. I cannot relate. So it would be easy for me to harp on the "sins" of such in discussion or WT study. Yet we encourage those who stay away from alcohol if they have such a problem. But for us (gay or trans) even thought we live clean and celibate lives - there is no encouragement it seems. At least that is how I feel. Any, know you have helped already. Especially Phil, Buddie, Luka. But ALL of you have. Please write something back. Anything at all so as I can feel less isolated.
Comments: Struggling, I am sorry that you are feeling alone. This website is just for such ones as you, wanting to remain faithful to Jehovah, despite your ‘thorn in the flesh’. And, as you will find, you are NOT alone in this struggle.
Comments: Just don't think I can continue on. So hard so alone year after year.
Comments: Hello
Comments: Hello! I am so happy to have come across this site. The other sites I have come across quickly showed they were not sites a servant of Jehovah would spend time on. I don't believe that is the case here. It is very encouraging to see there are others with similar situations. After thinking for so long I was the only one.
Comments: Hi Abigail There's a few of us who are transgender on the forum, two of whom are similar to you being f-t-m, but all of us as brothers and sisters are very happy to help. It must be really difficult for you to cope, but from the sounds of things you're doing amazingly well to be studying despite all the stress of your situation. Although I'm opposite to you (female, but look male) I still live with my parents and know what a challenging situation it can be when you're attempting to find a balance between the truth and your own ability to cope and function with regards gender dysphoria, whilst also attempting to minimise the impact it has on parents who you see each day; quite the balancing act! Please don't be shy about posting on the forum, we're here to help! Much love, Luka xxx
Comments: En este sistema en el que vivimos, es muy dificil mantener la integridad a Jehová. Sobre todo si se tiene una "espina en la carne" como dijo pablo... Y es mas dificil cuando sientes que luchas solo. Por eso solicito acceso a su pagina, esperando que... Por un lado alguien hable español, y por otro que no sea nada apostata, porque de verdad de verdad desearia hablar con alguien que comprendiera como me siento y.y
Comments: Hi everyone, so I'm transgender, and I am 20 live with JW parents and am studying. I really love the truth, but I do struggle with these thoughts. I have short hair and muscles and have gotten criticized a lot by my parents for it. Could anyone offer some insight/support/advice on these matters please? Thank you in advance.
Comments: Hello, Brian. Welcome! May I ask - are you a dedicated, baptized witness? Yes, it is a struggle - this common thorn we face - but with Jehovah's help and support for brothers - as those at this site - we can combat the challenge successfully. R.
Comments: Hello there. My name is Brian and I live in Bend Or. I have been an active bible student for 15 years and have been attending meetings for 8 years. I have been informally witnessing as my primary method of witnessing and have been used to bring over 90 different individuals into the Kingdom Hall to go to meetings. The elders know that I struggle with my heterosexually challenging situation however I have deep love and faith in Jehovah and so do my best to help others to demonstrate that. I hope you all are having a great week and I'd love to make some friends on this site and encourage any who would like to write me to do so.
Comments: Hi Windfursboy Welcome ! This is precisely the purpose of this website, to help us maintain our spirituality, or even strengthen it, in spite of this trial. Some contributors have been members for the past decade, and have remained faithful to Jehovah and His principles. So can you. With love
Comments: Hi, My first time in a site that looks supportive. I want to find a place to express my feelings and manage them. At the same time I want to keep my spirituality.
Comments: Hi Dan: It was so encouraging to read your post. It is very tempting to throw in the towel and follow the crowd, thinking that living the gay life will in someway end our struggle with constantly trying to stifle the feelings as we try to do in the truth. I would love to read or view an experience like yours in the organizations material it would be very encouraging for all who struggle and think that abandoning "ship" would solve all our problems. Drew , Sonia , and S : So glad you have found something supportive , I know how it has been of great help to me to continue to endure the struggle we can have with feeling so alone and like a freak of nature even, at times. Hope you will all benefit from the encouragement here.
Comments: Hello everyone, I'm so glad to have found this site as so much out there on the internet regarding this subject outside Jw.org is either apostate or exjw. It's such a relief to finally find the site I've been searching for. I like a lot of you have known and struggled with this issue since I was a small child. I am a baptised Jw and active, I've decided to try my very best for Jehovah and for me to go down the straight and narrow which of course has its struggles. I would appreciate having access to the website, could I please be granted that? Thank You!, it's truly great that someone has made this available. Your brother, S
Comments: Am an active witness, came across this website, seems like it's a place I have been looking for, for a long time! Need a place to call my home with my other brother's and sister's in the same situation who love Jehovah but can't seem to fit in, in the heterosexual world. Thank you for this website and all the scriptural upbuild. Need Jehovah in my life very much so and need all the support of my brother's and sister's in the same situation. Let's help each other out as his day draws near of deliverance! |
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